Every time I made a new friend and we inevitably bonded and discussed our personal lives, thinking about if and when to tell them about this fact loomed over my head. We would take the Rice Purity Test together for fun and I would sheepishly reveal that my score was in the 50s when everyone else’s was in the 30s. Simple moments like friends telling stories about bad sex, complaining about birth control and contraceptives and dishing about secret kinks made me feel embarrassed that I had nothing to contribute. When I did, my peers were kind, but I wanted them to forget because it felt like I had revealed a dirty secret (ironically) and was subject to judgement, a change in perception or even worse, pity. Even for someone like myself, who spent most of my time in sex-positive spaces, I actively did not mention that I had never had sex. What happens, then, if you don’t fit neatly into society’s predetermined timeline of romantic and sexual development? What happens when you aren’t hitting the romantic and sexual milestones at the same pace as everyone else in college? In my experience, you are made to feel like you should be embarrassed, that there is something wrong with you and that you are fundamentally missing out on life and the “true” college experience. I myself have taken the test a number of times to see if my score had decreased since the previous result. This sentiment is evident in the description of the Rice Purity Test itself - it is often used as a tool to gauge one’s maturation or progression thereof throughout your four years and crossing off more items is an improvement, something to be proud of.
Countless times freshman year it felt like an ongoing competition of who had the wildest or most fun night out, who brought someone home and who had the most scandalous story to tell the next day. This newfound privilege and lack of parental guidance come with expectations, mainly that college is the time to gain experience and engage in “grown-up” behavior. For many, college is the first time in our lives that we experience what feels like unlimited freedom: freedom to party, freedom to experiment with substances, freedom to invite anyone over, freedom from a curfew, freedom from having to answer to someone and so on.
My first semester during freshman year made one thing very clear: college is the time to be “wild.” In movies, college is the precursor to adulthood, ripe with fun opportunities and independence. The opportunity had definitely presented itself, and I had wanted to, but due to external circumstances, it never felt like the right place or time. I had just come out of a high school relationship with someone whom I thought I would have sex with for the first time. While I went through typical adolescent insecurities, I never felt embarrassed, inexperienced or behind in terms of my life experiences. Relative to my friends, I was ahead of the curve or “on track” in terms of teenage development, an idea that my peers - and society at large - made clear was something to be desired. This was also around the time when I started having many “firsts”: my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first time being drunk and my first time smoking. I can remember hearing about the Rice Purity Test as early as 15 or 16 years old when I had just begun high school. The official site claims that the Rice Purity Test has historically served as a segue or tradition during orientation week, a “voluntary opportunity for O-week groups to bond,” and for incoming freshmen to “track the maturation of their experiences throughout college.” At the end of the list is a button that calculates the user’s score, with 100 being the highest and most “pure” and 0 being the most “impure.” Though the site gives a disclaimer that attempts to complete “all items on this test will likely result in death,” it is a given that the lower one’s score is, the more impressive by societal standards. The test, which is a checklist-style page with a list of 100 items ranging in themes from love and sex to substance use and the law, has users check off each activity they have engaged in. The Rice Purity Test is a popular online test that determines, in essence, how “pure” or “unpure” one is based on their experiences.
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